I wannas sexs uuuuu
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
zippers are such a cool invention
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
Randomize
