____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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