batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Randomize
