One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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