then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
