just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
