I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Randomize
