for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
this hospital has no fireball
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
