Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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