i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
