would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
don't judge my taste in strippers
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
Randomize
