My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
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