Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
