I heard we made out
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
Randomize
