i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
do herpes really smell.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
Randomize
