whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
Michael Bay diarrhea
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
I AM VODKA MAN
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
