If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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