My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
