Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
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