Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Randomize
