Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
Randomize
