three words: i give head
three words: not that well
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
That was before I lit my hair on fire
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
