i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
