I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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