It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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