Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Randomize
