I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
