So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
My hand turned me down
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
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