He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize
