i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Randomize
