Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
