I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
