i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Randomize
