i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Randomize
