That's intense
On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
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