I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Sext me about skeletons
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
