pedialite and red bull = repair kit
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
