I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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