Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
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