We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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