well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Randomize
