You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
