Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
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