booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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