he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Randomize
