Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
Randomize
