This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
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