Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Randomize
