Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
