in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
